The Heavenly Host (Demons of Astlan Book 2) Read online

  “Range is too far for the remote activation signal. The one we just came through gets used every few months or years, I think. This next one, not very often.”

  “At least a decade, I guess,” Tom said.

  Tizzy shook his head from side to side. “I can tell once we turn it on, but my guess is over a hundred.”

  “So this place really is in the boonies!” Estrebrius exclaimed.

  “So I’m guessing these caves don’t get many tourists?” Tom asked.

  Tizzy shrugged. “Just me in the last thousand years, I would bet. Not a lot of people would remember them.”

  Boggy looked at him closely. “You know you always avoid this question, mate, but exactly how old are you? You were here when I got here.”

  Tizzy shrugged. “No longer counting. Too long.”

  Estrebrius nodded. “You were the first person I ever met.”

  Antefalken was looking around at the others strangely. “You know, you were also there when I showed up. Apparently you’ve been doing the welcome committee thing for some time?”

  Rupert was nodding excitedly. “Yeah, Tizzy was the first demon I met after Tom!”

  “That seems a bit odd, doesn’t it, Tizzy?” Tom asked, looking back at the octopod.

  Tizzy shrugged. “What can I say? “I smell buttah!” Tizzy said in a sort of mock version of his yenta voice. He cleared his throat and looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry, can’t really do that unless I actually smell buttah.”

  “So you can smell new arrivals?” Reggie asked.

  Tizzy shrugged again.

  “Would you stop doing that?” Talarius asked. “It makes me start swaying uncomfortably.”

  “Eh, not sorry,” Tizzy said, looking down at the knight. “Yes, it’s a gift or a curse. But it’s useful for meeting people.” Tizzy went silent and then suddenly turned his head a little and stared. “There we go, the next boom tunnel!” He started moving faster in the direction he had looked. “You would think that after all those welcoming committees, I’d be able to get a date, but nooo!”

  It took them another five minutes or so to get to the boom tunnel. Tizzy quickly moved up to the boom tunnel arch and placed his upper right hand on the plate; he then closed his eyes in concentration. This lasted about twenty seconds and then a single, low woohhhmmm vibrated the ground and air around them. About fifteen seconds later, a second woohhhmmm came, and then after about ten more seconds, a third, and then within a few more seconds, the regular throbbing of a boom tunnel could be felt all around them.

  Woohhhmmm… woohhhmmm… woohhhmmm… woohhhmmm… The tunnel vibrated as various undulating shades of red filled the previously empty archway.

  “Tiernon, but these things set my teeth on edge!” Talarius muttered.

  Boggy sidled up to the knight. “Well, that’s no wonder. It’s like your entire suit is vibrating and rattling with the throbs. That’s why you shouldn’t wear clothes.”

  “I don’t know,” Reggie said. “I can feel it throughout my whole body, and I think it’s a big turn-on.”

  Tom glanced down at him without thinking. Yes, Reggie was apparently enjoying the “good vibrations.” Sheesh. Tom shook his head.

  Tizzy was still concentrating at the archway’s panel. Suddenly the undulating red light was replaced by undulating black light and the throbbing suddenly became much more intense and audibly quite loud. Within about thirty seconds, all were covering their ears as the throbbing was getting almost painful. Talarius’s armor was very clearly rattling now, as were Estrebrius’s teeth in his grinning mouth. He did seem to be enjoying this outing.

  Suddenly there was a huge throb, the ground shook beneath their feet, and with that, the boom tunnel’s blackness turned back to red and the throbbing slowly began to subside to normal.

  Tizzy let out a loud sigh, as if quite tired, and then removed his hand from the plate. “Voilà!” he exclaimed, pronouncing it with a hard V sound. “Voilà, what a toila! Yada yada yada… I did it!” He was grinning from ear to ear, quite proud of himself. “You will note that I, a humble fiend, can do something that most greater demons can’t do, and a few of the archdemons don’t even know how to do!”

  “How is that? I would think the archdemons would know something like this,” Tom said.

  Tizzy shrugged. “Most aren’t old enough to have been around when the boom tunnels were built and so never learned. To be honest, it doesn’t need to be done that often, so most likely they were never taught and the method was forgot.” Tizzy waved his hands around. “You’d be surprised how common Antefalken’s assumption is that boom tunnels are always on.”

  “How long ago were the boom tunnels built?” Rupert asked.

  Tizzy rolled his head. “Sheesh, that’s a good one. It was a really, really long time ago. The princes hired sleestak wizards to come in and install them all around the Abyss.”

  “Sleestak wizards?” Tom asked, puzzled. Antefalken and the others were looking equally puzzled.

  “Yeah, you know: wizards who are sleestaks.” Tizzy shrugged.

  “By sleestak do you mean a sort of human-shaped insect-lizard race with big black eyes?” Tom asked, thinking about certain really old children’s programs and a horrible movie.

  “You’ve met some!” Tizzy said, surprised. “That’s impressive. They are really hard to get a hold of, always jumping around time and space and such. You almost need a police box to catch them. DeLoreans aren’t fast enough.” Tizzy was shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve seen one in”—he paused and suddenly stared around at the others—“a really long time.”

  Tom raised an eyebrow. Did Tizzy not want to reveal his age? How old was the octopod? Could it be that maybe Tizzy was not so much crazy as simply senile?

  “Anyway, let’s head on through!” Tizzy said and immediately turned and marched into the boom tunnel. Estrebrius shrugged, smiled and flew in after him.

  “Talarius?” Tom offered. The knight walked through, followed by Boggy, Reggie and Rupert. Tom brought up the rear.

  ~

  Randolf was hunched over his large notebook, working on formula translations between Lenamare’s demon banishment wards and his own project. Randolf really hated to admit it, but Lenamare was damn good. Amazingly good. Randolf was no slouch; some of the greatest djinn masters had trained him, but this was absolute mastery. He supposed it should not be a surprise.

  When Lenamare was a youth, he and Exador’s current incarnations, or whatever they were, had appeared to be about the same age. Lenamare had continually matched Exador toe-to-toe, and Exador was a wizard with thousands of years of experience. Okay, not all as a wizard; sometimes he had been simply a general, possibly a priest even. Then there was time he had spent with the Anilords. But nonetheless, the fact that Lenamare, a mere human like Randolf himself, could have shown such mastery at such a young age was rather humbling.

  If only times had been different, and Lenamare had not been such a total cortwad. The two of them might have been allies and sent Exador to his doom years ago. Randolf sighed. The what ifs—they were the seeds of useless ruminations. He shook his head and tried to get back to work.

  Donngg went a warning bell. Randolf looked up from his work; someone was in the outer entryway. A chime sounded even as Randolf started to get up. He sat back down; the chimes indicated that Crispin had returned. Their under-palace lab was very tightly guarded and only certain very specific codes tied to specific auras could get in.

  As always, he chuckled at the fact that he, the Archimage of Turelane, could not actually have his own sacred inner sanctum and laboratory in Turelane. He had a minor one of course, befitting the buffoon he played. Unfortunately, the Mage of Turelane, Exador, would have immediately spotted any truly guarded sanctum, any place protected from the prying eyes and ears of an archdemon.

  Thus he was forced to create his true sanctum in the warrens of the Council Palace. In the warrens, it was just one highly guarded laboratory among many dozens. Every coun
cil member, every committee member, every major lackey had a highly secured layer, knowing who owned what without physical exploration and a great deal of effort, thus setting off a great number of wards among a great number of wizards. This made Randolf just one more needle in a haystack.

  Crispin entered through the mantrap, shutting the final door behind him. “Hey ho!” The djinn exclaimed in greeting as he walked over to Randolf. Randolf stood and gave Crispin a hug and quick peck on the lips.

  “So was the ball as big a hit in Djinnistan as it was here?” Randolf asked.

  “Every bit as much!” Crispin said, chuckling. “A couple of elders nearly choked to death when the greater demon got busy with the Armageddon-summoning routine, as I am becoming fond of calling it.”

  “And have they come to any conclusions?” Randolf asked.

  Crispin grabbed an apple out of a nearby bowl and bit into it, slowly savoring its juiciness. “I love the material world…” he murmured. Suddenly he looked back at Randolf, who was waiting for an answer. “What do you think? They’re going to be debating this for the next hundred years!” Crispin shook his head. “How long did it take them to come to any consensus about Exador?”

  “I wouldn’t know—some of us hadn’t been born then,” Randolf said drily.

  “Oh, sorry. I forgot.” Crispin grinned. “I was but a boy myself, or more of a boy than I am now.”

  Randolf rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. You are but a teenager in djinn terms at the ripe young age of what… 183?”

  “I’ll be 184 next week; I hope you won’t forget my birthday present?” Crispin asked, twisting his head coyly.

  “Hmm. Therefore, you were about fifty when Abancia fell. Barely out of diapers,” Randolf noted.

  “You are missing the point—my present?” Crispin asked with a grin.

  “I thought you genies were supposed to be the one handing out presents?” Randolf asked with a smirk.

  “Oh, you’ll be getting a present alright, if I don’t get one!” Crispin laughed.

  Randolf laughed as well. “I have something very nice picked out for you. Rest assured.” Crispin smiled brightly. “Although I’ll have to alert the palace fire marshal before we try to light your cake!”

  ~

  “Holy marathon, batmen! I’m getting a stitch!” Reggie complained while trying to reach around with his right hand and rub his back between his two left arms. They had just landed at the entrance to a large cave at the bottom of a rather deep canyon.

  After coming through the sleeping portal, it had been another hour of flying across an unusually flat and arid plain with very few fireballs or columns. They had headed towards a range of extremely tall mountains in the distance. The mountain range was not that extensive in that it did not span the horizon. In fact, it was more of a cluster of extremely tall mountains that simply rose out of the flat plane, and a few large canyons that seemed to radiate out from the mountain cluster.

  Rather odd, but then the entire region had a slightly odd feeling to it. This region, after the last boom tunnel, seemed especially desolate. Which was, Tom admitted, a rather tough feeling to pin down, since the Abyss itself was thinly populated to begin with. Actually, other than people coming to visit him, Tom never saw other demons in the Abyss except at the Courts and at Hellsprings Eternal. Agh, Tom thought to himself as his own back twinged from exertion. He would need another massage after this trip.

  “Here we go…” Tizzy pointed to the cavern entrance, which was probably twenty feet high and perhaps ten to fifteen wide. Plenty big enough for everyone except Tom, for whom it was basically a rather narrow hallway. “We have about a half-hour hike through the corridors until we reach the first of the large caverns. At that point, we enter a long sequence of caverns of different styles. All a wonder to behold!”

  “Talarius, you’re going to want to turn your armor light on,” Rupert said.

  “Very well, demon,” Talarius agreed, once again not wanting to reveal that his helm let him see in the dark on multiple levels.

  Tizzy chuckled. “Once we get to the caverns, both stone and crystal, we will all want light. Black-and-white night sight does not do this place justice. Especially the crystalline and mirrored caverns.”

  “We need to go single file, or at least I do,” Tom said. “Tizzy, since you know where we are going, why don’t you go first? Then me, then Talarius and Reggie, Rupert and Estrebrius. Boggy and Antefalken, bring up the rear? Everyone stay together, we don’t want to get separated and lost.”

  The others nodded. Tizzy shrugged and headed in with Tom following. The cavern tunnel was mostly fine, plenty of headroom for Tom. At a few points as they made their way it dipped to about thirteen feet, but Tom had no serious problems as long as he did not stretch to his tallest height.

  Actually, the floor was surprisingly smooth and level for a natural cavern. It was not perfect, but it was relatively flat and not V shaped as he might have expected for something so ravine like. Of course, the same was true of his own cave. Tom frowned; actually, he really was not sure how caves and such had come to be in the Abyss. There was neither rain nor any kind of water for erosion, and not much in the way of wind. At least not severe wind, from what he had seen. It was just hot. Okay, some regions were dusty and there were volcanos and lava, but by and large, normal weather would not have shaped things like they had on Earth, or Astlan for that matter.

  They walked down the tunnel for some time, perhaps fifteen minutes, before they came to a branch in the tunnel. Tizzy took the left turn. “I always go left,” the demon told them, looking over his shoulder. “I find it more sinister; which is something I appreciate as a demon.”

  Tom shrugged. The demon was making about as much sense as ever. If they did stick to that path, then tracing their way back should be easier. They just needed a better way to tell distance. It was a bit irritating to have no mechanism for telling time. Tom was used to just pulling out his iPhone, or before that his iPod Touch, to check the time. He would settle for one of his watches, which he never wore. Of course, it was not clear what good that would do, since Astlan had a twenty-hour day and the Abyss had no nights or any real time at all. How did demons know when to meet up with each other?

  “Antefalken?” Tom asked.

  “Yes?” the bard replied from behind him.

  “You’ve dealt with the higher-ups in the Courts, who presumably have meetings and gatherings and such…”

  “Yes.”

  “With no night or day, how do demons know when to show up for a meeting, or party or gathering?” Tom asked.

  “Any decent party lasts a couple days and you can come anytime,” Boggy said.

  Antefalken chuckled. “The princes and archdemons can summon their followers by tugging on their links to them. They just summon them when they feel like it. They can get a feel for their minion’s distance from the link and so have an idea how long it will be.”

  “And there is a clock in the tower of the Notorious Dame,” Tizzy interjected.

  “What’s it based on?” Tom asked.

  “Legend has it that the Abyssal day is defined as the maximum time Sammael and Lilith can stay in the same room and not try and kill each other,” Tizzy replied.

  “Is that true?” Rupert asked, rather surprised.

  Tizzy shrugged. “About as true as any of the other legends.”

  “It is not, however, tied to Astlan time,” Antefalken said. “It’s mainly used for relative time measurement in the Courts. No one outside the Courts would have any idea what Court Time was.”

  “There are 666 deminutes in the day,” Tizzy said. “That is then divided by six into periods of the day, each 111 deminutes long.”

  “So deminutes are pretty long units of time.” Tom said.

  Tizzy shrugged and Antefalken said, “Well, it’s completely arbitrary, since there is no Fierd here. That’s just the schedule they use for night and day simulation in the courts. You start with two periods of daylight: morn
ing and afternoon. Following that you have one period of evening or dusk where it gets darker, and then two periods of darkness, first night and second night. Finally, or technically firstly, you have one period of dawn where it gets progressively lighter.”

  Rupert had been fiddling with his fingers. “So basically, 333 deminutes is ten hours in Astlan?”

  “Maybe.” Tizzy shrugged.

  “Okay, thirty-three deminutes is roughly an hour in Astlan, so eleven deminutes is a third of an hour. Nothing rounds nicely,” Rupert complained.

  Boggy chuckled. “It’s not really worth wasting your time on, since no two demons can ever agree on the time of day. It’s actually a miracle that Sammael and Lilith were able to agree on that stupid clock.”

  Tom chuckled. At least he had gotten people talking; they had been pretty silent up until the branch. He supposed it was recovery from the long flight. Unfortunately, as the efforts of the flight wore off, his own fidgety, wired feeling was returning, along with that weird feeling of having overeaten. If it had been food, the feeling would have passed, literally. However, he had no idea how to get rid of mana stuffing, other than to start blasting fireballs all over the place. That did not seem particularly productive.

  The group marched on for another five deminutes or so, Tom guessed, and then took another left at a split. From there they travelled about the same distance before the tunnel opened up into a larger cavern. They spread out upon entering and Talarius turned up the lighting to reveal a massive cavern full of stalactites and stalagmites.

  “Whoa!” Rupert breathed out.

  Tizzy turned around and spread his arms, his brightly glowing red eyes wide with rare joy. “Wander and wonder! See the wonders of the SubAbyss! The UnterAbyss!”

  “Everyone stay in the cavern—we don’t want to hunt you all down if you wander off!” Tom called. Why did he feel like a schoolteacher on a field trip? Tom smiled as he made his way around the giant cavern. He was pretty sure caves were new to Rupert. He himself had been to a few smaller caverns. Indian Caverns and Indian Echo Caverns in Pennsylvania, and when he was little, one in Arizona on a family vacation. This cavern was huge and incredibly impressive. He scanned the ceiling, wondering if there were any bats. He did not expect to see any—they would have to be bats out of—or rather, still in—hell. He shook his head.